Life On A B-I7

_ Saturday April 22, 2023 (Journal Entry)_

Be very careful when you hear someone attacking another person. If their only argument is to point out the other person’s weakness, real or imagined, it means they have no ideas of their own.

_ Saturday April 22, 2023 (Journal Entry)_

It should be embarrassing for me to say this, given my background, but I’m not too proud to admit that I finally understand the difference between binding and assignment as they are implemented in computer languages.

To put it succinctly, binding uses more memory but allows the user to make significant modifications to variables on-the-fly. For example, in a language using binding, a variable might start out as an integer, but if there is a need later on during execution for that number to become something else, say, irrational, a language that uses binding can easily accommodate that. In the case of languages that use assignment (and strict type checking, like compiled languages) once a variable has been assigned a value of say integer, that is the only type of number that variable can hold. In general, languages that use binding are a bit easier work with than languages that use assignment, and can be faster when it comes to the amount of time it takes to develop the solution to a problem.

Why am I writing about this? I like to learn something new every day, even if some people might consider it is useless information. For me, learning something every day will help stave off dementia and will help stimulate my memory. which by the way, has never been very good, even when I was younger.

Now, ask me the difference between “early binding” and “late binding” and the first thing I’ll say is we are not talking about wrapping packages… If you insist that I give you an answer (simplistic as it is, and I’m fully aware that you may not be insisting…) I’ll just say compiled languages use early binding and dynamic languages use late binding. I’ll leave the rest of that explanation to someone that has a better understanding of language design.

Friday April 21, 2023 (Journal Entry)

I was asked to repeat three words (pencil, light, hamburger) draw a picture of a clock showing the time 11:10, and then write down the three words I had previously been given. I passed.

I went on to tell the doctor there was little chance I would remember those three words two years from now… he laughed and said he would not expect that… but now that I have posted this, there is a distinct chance that I will… if I happen to look back here just before I make the attempt…

Friday April 21, 2023 (Journal Entry)

All I’m doing here is contributing my point of view to the world. Why does that matter? The world is only free as long as each of us is allowed the ability to express ourselves. But does the freedom to express ourselves come with any responsibility? I believe that it does.

The freedom to express ourselves is not about ensuring everyone lives a particular truth, or that everyone is free from all restrictions. Both of those taken to their extreme are anathema to living socially. There must be some shared truths, among them do no harm, and respect everyone. Generosity and mindfulness are key virtues that freedom is built on. Generosity includes making sure that everyone has equal opportunity to live a rewarding life. Mindfulness includes speaking truth that is designed to help everyone, not just yourself or those you choose to associate with exclusively.

One thing worth mentioning is that there is no room for anger in a civilized society. Anger leads everyone down the wrong path. If you are acting out of anger you are either being misled, or you haven’t yet grasped what freedom truly is.

Thursday April 20, 2023 (Journal Entry)

I am overwhelmed by Rick Rubin’s book.¹ The wisdom it holds is priceless. The beauty is not just that his message applies to the artist, it is beautiful because the message applies to everyone, even those who do not practice art as a vocation. Living an artistic life is not the same as being an artist, but it can bring just as much benefit into the person and the world.

Thursday April 20, 2023 (Journal Entry)

I sit. I stare at the clock on the stove. I notice a minute has gone by. An almost perfect minute of next to nothing. I sip my coffee and decide to write about that minute. The minute that even now I can’t remember. There’s nothing wrong with my mind, time can be fleeting, sometimes it’s not even there. My gaze shifts. I watch the cat drink out of a bowl in the kitchen sink. I wonder what today will be like. How many minutes will I recall at the end of the day? It doesn’t matter really one way or the other. They are all good. Every minute of every day is good. They are never the same but they are all good. Because they are all mine.

Thursday April 20, 2023 (Journal Entry)

Wednesday April 19, 2023 (Journal Entry)

Wouldn’t it be fun to ski all the resorts in New Hampshire? Why? Because they are there. Here they are: Bretton Woods, Canmore, Crotched Mountain, Gunstock, Pats Peak, Loon, Mount Sunapee, Waterville Valley, and Wildcat.

The images show above were taken from James Nieuhues website. He produces spectacular paintings of ski areas. I own two of his prints and his coffee table book, they are prized possessions.

Wednesday April 19, 2023 (Journal Entry)

Sharing fills us up. Ideas are the source of sharing. Whatever it takes to keep ideas flowing is what our work is about. Once the ideas come to us, we let them dictate what their expression will be, then we release them to make room for the next idea. As we move though life different ideas will come to us, they may require us to try different things. That is wonderful. We should always return to the things that we love. One of those things for me is writing. Whatever it is you love to do, do it to the best of your ability. Before I post something here, I first write about it in my journal, when I do that, I try and write with my best handwriting. It makes the experience more enjoyable, more beautiful, even though I am the only one that will ever see it. If I decide not to post what I have written, that’s ok, it’s there for me and a part of me, and it provides the background that allows me to keep evolving. There is no “right” or “wrong” way to share. The only constant is to do it. It doesn’t matter if your life work is creating great art or keeping score at a baseball game, as long as you are following your passion and sharing that with others you will be filled with reward.

Tuesday April 18, 2023 (Journal Entry)

I saw a billboard that said: “Where are you going, Heaven or Hell?”

I don’t usually pay much attention to that sort of thing, I’m the type of person that lives in the here-and-now and doesn’t pay a whole lot of attention to the future (except when it comes to planning an epic bicycle tour.) The billboard had a phone number you can call to talk to someone about what is going on in your head (presumably related to the sign’s message). The number was 83-FOR-TRUTH. That got me pondering, what is meant by the word TRUTH, and what does that have to do with how one lives their life…

No doubt, the key to living your best life is “TRUTH.” Live your truth, but more importantly do it in a way that always weighs truth into the equation you are using to guide your life. Also “live your truth in a way that will make other’s want to follow you.” (RBG.) If you sacrifice what you know is true for any sort of gain or advantage in anything you pursue, you can answer the billboard’s question for yourself without having to pick up the phone…

Tuesday April 18, 2023 (Journal Entry)

Art is choosing to do something skillfully,
caring about the details,
bringing all of yourself
to make the finest work you can.
It is beyond ego, vanity, self-glorification,
and need for approval.

— Rick Rubin

I think this applies to life in general doesn’t it? Living artfully as Rubin describes would bring about countless benefits.

Sunday April 16, 2023 (Journal Entry)

I’m currently reading Rick Rubin’s “A Creative Act.” It is inspirational. I’ve learned so far, that we are all artists, each person in their own way. (Maybe not everyone, but almost all of us.) The better we all are at our art, the better the world becomes, because art is about being in tune and receiving information from the Universe. It doesn’t really matter if we are “good” at our art, just that we are committed to a life that focuses on living artistically. It is our responsibility (not too strong a word) to create “works” that help move the world forward, evolving toward a more perfect version of what the world can be. It’s all about the connections we make and the vibe that we leave behind as we move through the Universe. In other words, sharing ourselves with the Universe. That is our art.

Friday April 14, 2023 (Journal Entry)

Doesn’t this photo say it all…

I am a badass. I love myself. I have enough love for everyone.

Badass, yes. I can do anything. Nothing is outside the realm of possibility. Let’s say for example, next Spring when the wind slab on Mount Washington turns to corn, skiing Tuckerman Ravine… Really, why not?

Editor’s Note. (That’s me.) Skiing Tuckerman Ravine might be just a bit over my head… My back country experience is limited and there are aspects of Tuckerman (the headwall for example) that are considered the most extreme in the Northeast. That said, I’m sure with a couple years of back country experience, I could take on some of the lower aspects.

Thursday April 13, 2023 (Journal Entry)

The real work of the artist
Is a way of being in the world.
—Rick Rubin

Isn’t that true for all of us? We are all artists in our own medium. If we are living our artistic life to the fullest, we are living in a way that allows us to be open to the world around us…

Openness can take many forms. It can be as simple as a conversation we engage in with a stranger, or perhaps a conversation we simply listen to and take in silently, either one can hold the potential to change our life. Either one holds the potential to show us an entirely new path. A path we hadn’t previously considered, but know instantly is the right path for us…

Wednesday April 12, 2023 (Journal Entry)

We create our reality through our thoughts. Thoughts are our most powerful tool. Manage them accordingly…

Before you speak
Let your words pass through
Three gates.

The First Gate:
Are my words true?

The Second Gate:
Are my words necessary?

The Third Gate:
Are my words kind?

—Sufi Saying

Wednesday April 12, 2023 (Journal Entry)

Stay away from people with tiny minds and tiny thoughts.
—Jen Sincero

Sunday April 9, 2023 (Journal Entry)

When I have been waiting at a four-way stop and it’s now my turn to proceed into the intersection and a car rolls up on my right and without stopping or even slowing down, turns left in front of me, and I don’t feel just a bit annoyed… then I know I will have enough love for everyone…

Saturday April 8, 2023 (Journal Entry)

I am in the process of learning. Probably a good thing, since I’m no spring chicken. Here’s what I learned today. Affirmations are good. They can become reality if you express them often enough and with sincerity. They can be magical. Okay, that’s what I’m told anyway, but that is what I am going with… I’m going to write these in my journal ten times every day, probably for a long time to come, because I have a long way to go, but that’s not the point really, the point is doing it. The magic will follow.

I am a badass. I love myself. I have enough love for everyone.
I am a badass. I love myself. I have enough love for everyone.
I am a badass. I love myself. I have enough love for everyone.
I am a badass. I love myself. I have enough love for everyone.
I am a badass. I love myself. I have enough love for everyone.
I am a badass. I love myself. I have enough love for everyone.
I am a badass. I love myself. I have enough love for everyone.
I am a badass. I love myself. I have enough love for everyone.
I am a badass. I love myself. I have enough love for everyone.
I am a badass. I love myself. I have enough love for everyone.

Friday April 7, 2023 (Journal Entry)

I had to leave the cat with a sitter for three weeks. He got seriously pissed at me. I know this because after the second week I went to visit him, when he saw me come into the room he hid his head in his paws and tried his best to ignore me. I left the room to take care of something and when I returned he was under the bed. He was not about to come out no matter how hard I coaxed.

He’s back with me now and everything is fine. I have to admit I missed him, probably more than he missed me. I think he senses that and that has helped him get over his distress at my abandonment. He’s a good boy, the best actually. If it didn’t cost $89 I would register him as an emotional support animal. He is that, no question about it.

Friday April 7, 2023 (Journal Entry)

”This is a wonderful day. I have never seen this one before.” -Maya Angelou

If you are going to practice gratitude each day, that is a very good way to start. It’s hard to argue with this notion, whether or not you suffer memory loss… (I suppose that’s an attempt at humor…)

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about gratitude. It’s time to admit I haven’t taken enough opportunity throughout my life to sufficiently recognize the many people and reasons I have to be grateful. I intend to change that. I’m going to take time each day to appreciate at least one of the many reasons I have to be grateful. Here is an assortment of reasons, by no means an exhaustive list, but a list that I think will get me started on the right foot…

Gratitude for my health

Having health to enjoy the day. Having health to remember my experiences. Having health to exercise. Having health to pursue my dreams.

Gratitude for the people in my life

Having that special someone. Having wonderful children. Having people to admire. Having people that care about me. Having a cat that cares about me, even when he’s not hungry. (That last one could be wishful thinking…)

Gratitude for my surroundings

Having a home. Admiring the changes brought by the seasons. Enjoying the fresh air outside. Basking in the smell of coffee in the morning.

Gratitude for my self

Taking time to enjoy who I am. Taking time to learn something new. Taking time to solve a problem. Taking time to create something beautiful (no matter how small or trivial). Attempting to building a legacy. Reminding myself that others matter, even if they don’t care what I think.

Of course this is not an exhaustive list. The important thing to remember is that expressing gratitude feels good, it can also go a long way towards preserving our health and maybe, just maybe, it can be healing as well. No one has been able to show that it hurts you, so there’s no real reason not to practice it. There can only be benefits.

Friday April 7, 2023 (Journal Entry)

”Get a bicycle. You will not regret it, if you live.” -Mark Twain

Im getting excited. Less than one months before I start my TransAm tour. I don’t take Mark Twain’s precaution lightly, but I have done this before and the first thing I did the last time was grow a pair of eyes in the back of my head. I haven’t been using them much lately, skiing doesn’t really require them, but I tested them last night and they seem to be working fine.

I’m going to go solo, and I’m thrilled with the proposition. There might be no better way to get in touch with yourself than a long solo bike tour. My goal when I’m finished is actually two-fold, know thy self, and appreciate the other people in my life that much more. Not a bad goal I’d say.

I might be able to spend some time reading a book or two along the way, not to mention write about the experience here.

Stay tuned. It all begins in less than a month!

Thursday April 6, 2023 (Journal Entry)

Donald J. Trump single handedly placed the Republican Party in a pot of cold water on top of a stove. He then proceeded to gradually (whether consciously or unconsciously is purely academic) turn up the heat. The question is: Will the Republican Party jump out of the pot, or will they boil to death?

Wednesday April 5, 2023 (Journal Entry)

Shins on tongue.

Knees over toes.

Elbows in front of torso.

Big toe little toe, little toe big toe.

Roll the ankles.

Chin over turning ski.

Pressure downhill.

Turning ski, turning arm.

Feel, feel, feel. Correct, correct, correct!

Thank you Chad!

Friday March 31, 2023 (Journal 2023)

This narrative was given to me by a loved one. I’m sure I would not have been able to provide this detail. The events described have not recurred. These and similar episodes occurred over a period of six days between 3/15 and 3/20.

On Thursday 3/16, during dinner, at approximately 8pm, a group conversation was occurring. Andy directed a question to you (not by name) and you didn’t respond in the first couple seconds, so I said your name to cue you into the conversation. Andy repeated the question. You looked up when I said your name, looked around the table, and it looked like you were thinking or starting to say something, but then you looked down and shook your head. You were not able to get a response out. This lasted for a few seconds and appeared as a noticeable inability to either process the language input or formulate any output (answer or get any words out).

The next day, we talked about what happened and you said you were having one of the dizzy spells at that time.

On Friday 3/17 in the evening at approximately 6pm you were sitting at the head of the table, actively engaged in conversation with me and Scott. You were getting Scott up to speed on your scheduled heart procedure, as well as actually describing what your dizzy spells are like. Polly was in the kitchen cooking dinner. In the midst of relaying all this to us, you went from speaking normally to struggling to get your thoughts out. You were still speaking, but you were getting tripped up on specific words, using a large amount of fillers like “uhhh”, and “ummmm” while searching for the right words, occasionally Scott or I would say the word we guessed you were looking for and you’d say “yes” and then move on with another sentence. Over the course of 3-4 minutes, you continued speaking while we listened and about once every utterance you got stuck on a word (couldn’t find the right word), or you used the wrong word in place of what you meant. I believe when you used the wrong words a few times (2 or 3 times total), that you may not have comprehended that the wrong word came out because you continued your utterance without hesitating. (Here is an example of the word replacements that were tripping you up: “I was riding my bike over the balcony when I got a flat tire,” you substituted the word “balcony” when you intended to use the word “bridge.”)

On Friday 3/17 during dinner, at approximately 8pm we were all engaged in conversation. You were mid-sentence when you trailed off into a pause and stopped speaking all together. The empty pause was noticeable and lasted about 2 seconds, so I asked, “should I get the blood pressure cuff?” (since the plan was to take your blood pressure the next time you had a dizzy spell). You nodded in the affirmative but did not say anything. You stayed seated facing forward and I placed the cuff on your right arm. You pushed the button to turn it on with your left hand. You didn’t speak the entire time the cuff was taking your blood pressure. After about a minute you said something like “thank you, good call” and then a few minutes later, after the blood pressure reading was complete and the cuff was off, you resumed normal speech.

You reported to us that you had dizzy spells about a dozen times while driving on Thursday 3/16 and another dozen or so times while skiing at Deer Valley on 3/17. Then they decreased and all but went away by Sunday/Monday 3/20.

Thursday March 30, 2023 (Journal Entry)

I’ve been remiss. I haven’t written here for a few days. Let me just say, I don’t write here for you, I write here for me. While I admit, in the back of my mind I like to think that some of what is posted here might be of interest to a curious few, I’m under no illusion that what is here is probably only enjoyed by myself.

There has been a lot on my mind of late. Writing helps me to sort things out. I’ve learned that I have CAD. It’s not the end of the world, but it is a surprise and something I need to grapple with. In addition, I’ve been told my memory may be suspect. Curious that. I still know how to write, and enjoy doing that. It gives me great pleasure actually, but I tend to write about today, or at least recent events, rather than the past. (Let’s not jump to conclusions, I’ve never written about the past, and it’s possible I’m not the sort of person lives in, or even thinks much about the past…)

Where does all this leave me at the moment? I’m not completely sure. I do know I’m going to keep writing. Keep skiing. Keep cycling. Keep enjoying the people I love and the people that love me, and keep myself in the best health possible so all these things can be enjoyed. When you stop to think about it, there really isn’t a lot more that you need to do.