Impermanence. I suppose that sort of sums it all up. One day you are cruising along and the next day a broken water pipe sends you into chaos. The best way to deal with that is to live without water pipes. I’m working on that…
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There is a part of me that wants to live apart from the world. I would like to be alone with my thoughts, surrounded only by nature. I’m comfortable with my thoughts and with nature, but I have never given my thoughts free rein to roam like the open space that nature gives. I’m curious to see where the thoughts would go given that opportunity.
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It doesn’t matter where we are in time at the moment. We are where we have always been, and where we will be in the future — unless we open our eyes.
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Winter has withered everything
in this cold mountain place:
dignity is in
its desolation now, and beauty
in the cold clarity of its moon.
— Saigyo (1118-1190)
Yes, winter has its effect, but behold
the perfectly carved track in the
freshly fallen snow.
This is one man’s compliment to nature’s
cold mountain place.
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Nothing that can be said that is worth saying, can be said in words. That could be why I struggle so mightily with writing.
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I would be remiss if I did not mention my love for my brother in these entries. Of course, I never had a biological brother, but that doesn’t matter. My true brother has been a part of my life for all my best years. He knows me too well. He knows when I last changed the tires on my truck and what size I run. You know who you are. Thank you for being there for me. I love you.
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When I go to see my doctor and the nurse asks me to step on the scale, I like to say: “Do you mind if I take all my clothes off… I’d like to get an accurate reading.” It never fails to get a smile.
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I like my life. I’m reaching a point where I can actually appreciate that feeling. That doesn’t mean I know what tomorrow holds, quite the contrary, I don’t, but I have some good ideas about what will make tomorrow a good day.
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One must stop periodically and listen. Pay attention to what is going on around you. Unless you stop and pay attention, everything you experience will only be a reflection of yourself. That would place you as far from reality as you could possibly get.
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I have realized the reason I write is that someday I will no longer be here. If I place these words in the right hands, perhaps they will survive me by a generation. If I’m really lucky, maybe two.
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Life is a combination of joys and sorrows. They must be accepted together. Neither one should be allowed to rule.
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Always look ahead and not back. I have tried to live by that rule all my life. Occasionally I forget some past event that I probably should have hung on to. A hazard I suppose of adopting this approach to living. I’m not sure there is a solution, but as a precaution, I’ve started keeping a journal. That may prove to be beneficial, but only if I read it…
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Kill The Banker - Manhattan
I named this drink after a run at Revelstoke. I haven’t skied it yet, but by god, I’m going to, and when I do I’m going to have one of these to celebrate.
Note: You can only get these bitters from Mike at the Sitzmark Bar at Alta Lodge.
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export PATH="/usr/local/bin:$HOME/bin:$PATH"
alias wsea=‘ansiweather -l “Seattle” -u imperial’
alias wket=‘ansiweather -l “Ketchum” -u imperial’
alias wslc=‘ansiweather -l “Salt Lake City” -u imperial’
alias jday=‘date +%j’
alias zsh=‘cd $HOME && source ./.zshenv’
alias clear=‘clear && figlet badkins’
alias rp=‘cd $HOME/RubyProgramming && clear && ls ruby .rb’
alias ror=‘cd $HOME/RubyProgramming/Rails && clear && ls’
alias pwm=‘ruby $HOME/RubyProgramming/password manager.rb’
export PATH="/usr/local/opt/node@12/bin:$PATH"
export LDFLAGS="-L/usr/local/opt/node@12/lib"
export CPPFLAGS="-L/usr/local/opt/node@12/include"
figlet B-RAD-1
echo B-RAD The Dude Abides
If you find this mysterious, don’t worry, I used to love this shit, now it’s mostly Greek. If you are inspired to set up a customized terminal, but don’t know what you would use it for, you can always use it to check the weather without having to deal with a lot of boring advertising.
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Adam Hanson in Seattle created these pieces for me. All I asked was “Give me a portrait of Bernie Sanders.” I liked what he came up with so much that I followed it up with “Einstein,” “RBG,” and “Dr. Fauci.”
Adam is amazingly talented and I feel privileged to have his work hanging where I can see it daily. If you get a chance to check him out, don’t hesitate.
Check out Adam on Instagram @addictedtopaintdotcom or his website AddictedToPaint
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Live your life in a way that prevents people from feeling compelled to say mean things about you on social media.
If you feel compelled to say mean things about people on social media, you’re not living your life correctly.
You can also avoid this nastiness by simply not participating in social media… The goal of social media after all is to control you, you’re better off controlling yourself.
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I’m skiing today. It’s a beautiful day. I can’t think of anything I would rather be doing at this moment. When Spring comes, that will change, but today could not be better.
I signed up for a ski lesson. I told the lesson coordinator I would like to be placed in an expert class. That’s just for the initial assignment. Once the lesson begins, the instructor you have been given evaluates your skiing to make sure you are in the right class. I call this the “sorting hat.” When I got to the bottom of the first run, my instructor said “You should be teaching the class.” Man, that gives you a satisfied feeling.
It was a great day. The instructor was inspiring to watch on the steep and deep. I skied better just watching him. At the bottom of one pitch, a woman skied up to me and said “You are a beautiful skier.” Another moment of feeling deeply satisfied. Two in one day. At my age, days like today come with an expiration date, that’s why you have to appreciate them.
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My baby loves me. She brushes me off with a charm that is difficult not to appreciate. When she has had enough of me, she tells me to “read my book.” I know when she says that she loves me because she knows how much I enjoy reading…
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I generally shy away from talking about things political and religious, but there are times when I find myself unable to avoid the subject…
I’ve never felt this concerned about my country, or the world. The worst time I have lived through up until now was the Vietnam War era. Today feels worse to me. We can’t talk to each other. That’s not just here, it seems to be everywhere. But that isn’t the only problem. We are also steering a course away from Democracy and toward Fascism. I never expected I would live to see something as catastrophic as this.
“Christian evangelists” are starting to gain the ear of like-minded political leaders. It has been seriously proposed that Christians need to assert dominion over the “seven mountains” of life — government, business, family, education, media, religion, and the arts. There is even chatter in these circles that Donald Trump should call for a “revolution.” I suspect if Trump thought he could remain in power beyond his term (assuming he is re-elected) it seems likely he would support such a notion if it allowed him to hold the reins of power. This movement also has para-military support. Just one example is a former Army major who runs an Idaho tactical weapons training camp billed as being for “Christian men who believe the times warrant a high standard of firearms readiness.”
None of this should be considered an idle threat. What is the difference between Christian Nationalism and Fascism? Nothing.
I keep reminding myself, that fear is the path to the dark side… We must be clear about what we want our country to be and who we want it to represent. I want it to represent everyone.
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When I got off the bus in downtown Seattle, a Pan-handler asked me for a quarter. Apparently he hasn’t heard of inflation. I politely told him I did not have a quarter — or any change for that matter. He wasn’t disturbed in the least, he smiled. I thought about that for a second, and then I said, “let me see if I have a dollar.” He smiled again, apparently that pleased him. I pulled out my wallet and the debit cart flew out onto the sidewalk. I didn’t want to give him that, so I picked it up and put it back in my wallet. While I had it open, I thumbed through the bills. There weren’t many bills, 2 fives and 2 twenties. I smiled at him and told him all I had were twenties (a slight exaggeration, but, under the circumstances, probably reasonable.) He smiled a genuine smile at me, engaging beyond what I would reasonably have expected, he then said, “I hope the next time we meet all you have are 100’s!” We looked at each other with something like understanding. I told him he was a very funny man. We parted, ever so slightly more like friends than strangers.
It occurs to me as I write this, I should have just given him one of the fucking twenty dollar bills. We made a connection. We are both humans. There can’t really be an argument against that, can there?
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I just started reading “The Pursuit of Happiness” by Jeffrey Rosen. Rosen is the President and Chief Executive officer of the National Constitution Center. It is not an exaggeration to say he knows more about the Constitution, its origins, and its motivation than most likely any sitting Supreme Court Justice. That’s another topic.
When I say I started reading, I mean I just started… Let me tell you, I can already see this will be one of the best books I have ever read. That is a bit of a superlative I realize. Keep in mind I studied Political Science with an emphasis on Con Law. I know, I know, what does that buy you when you’ve spent your life as a database developer and Linux programmer… Probably nothing (but I like to think a tiny bit).
I adore this quote from Cicero:
O philosophy, guide of life!
O searcher out of virtue and exterminator of vice!
One day spent well and in accordance with thy precepts
Is worth an immortality of sin.
Obviously, Cicero is telling us that one day of virtue is more satisfying than an entire life of sin. That is a beautiful thought. Imagine if we could just manage two days of virtue…
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You are my love.
You are beautiful.
It makes me proud to know you love me.
I would go anywhere with you on my arm.
I smile when I think of you.
Every moment with you Is precious.
Even though I was not given a lifetime with you,
Now that you are a part of my life,
I appreciate it all the more.
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Benjamin Franklin was a man who wrestled with his urges and flaws. He also worked hard to improve himself. He decided that working on the following thirteen virtues would make him a better man. He shared his plan with several of his friends, among them Thomas Jefferson and John Adams. (They also adopted his project in their own lives.) He worked on a single virtue for one week, then moved on to the next. He chose thirteen virtues because that would allow him to work on each of the virtues four times a year. Here is his list of virtues for self-improvement:
If one is interested in a project like this, as I am, the point is not to adopt Benjamin Franklin’s list, but to come up with a list best suited to achieving one’s own goals for bettering the self. It doesn’t have to be thirteen virtues. The important thing is to give this some careful thought, draw up a list that reflects the improvements you desire to make, and then work on each in turn, recording your progress as you move through your list. There is no record of why Franklin chose to work on one virtue at a time and record his results, but modern psychology has shown this is the best way to develop new habits and incorporate positive change into our lives.
My list will probably be different and may have more or less than thirteen virtues that need improvement. (One of the above is not a problem for me…) I will be tracking my project results in my private journal, this entry serves as my “project kick-off.” There is no finish line. (Some might say I’m getting a late start…) I’m aware that a good deal of time may be needed! Benjamin Franklin had this to say about the results of his project:
“On the whole, tho’ I never arrived at the perfection I had been so ambitious of obtaining, but fell short of it, yet as I was, by the endeavor, a better and a happier man than I otherwise should have been if I had not attempted it.”
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I challenged OpenAI’s ChatGPT and Microsoft’s Copilot to a contest. I asked each to write a poem about me, in sonnet form. What follows are the results of the contest, and my humble (if that’s possible) opinion of which AI engine is the better poet. Keep in mind the opinions of ChatGPT and Copilot are their own, fact-checking by the reader is encouraged.
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In shadows cast upon the stage, he strides,
Brad Adkins, with a poet’s heart ablaze,
His words, like stars, in midnight skies reside,
Each line a melody, a timeless phrase.
With pen in hand, he weaves a tapestry,
Of dreams and hopes, of love and loss entwined,
Through sonnets sung with heartfelt honesty,
He paints a portrait of the human mind.
In every verse, a glimpse of truth appears,
A mirror held to life’s complexities,
With wisdom drawn from laughter and from tears,
He captures hearts and sets the spirit free.
So let us raise our voices in acclaim,
To Brad Adkins, the bard who lights our flame.
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